Everything Goes With Pink

Pink is not a color, it is a way of life.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

You Know You Are Living In 2006 When...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone #'s to reach your family of 4.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Monday, January 23, 2006

25 Signs You've Grown Up...

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your avorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginningof one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm nevergoing to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"

Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Blonde's Year in Review: 2005

Blonde's Year in Review:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh"....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited. ...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M &M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 > days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Words of Wisdom from our Leader?

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." - George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." - George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." - George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." - George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow." - George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." - George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - George W. Bush

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe We are a part of Europe." - George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy." - George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." - George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." - George W. Bush

"For NASA, space is still a high priority." - George W. Bush

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." - George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." - George W. Bush

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." - George W. Bush

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Why We Love Children Finale...




Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Why We Love Children Cont'd.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Morgan's blog.

My daughter, Morgan, started her very own blog today! Check it out if you get a chance. She is really excited about it. She sees me posting on mine all the time and thinks it's cool.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Happy Weekend!

Hope everyone had a great weekend! And...for those of us that have a long weekend...keep having a great one! We went to my mother-in-law's house last night and played Rummy until about 1 a.m. It was actually pretty fun and we got to see some beautiful snow! I LOVE this time of year. My husband, on the other hand, hates it, but I like it enough for the both of us. I love the cold weather, drinking hot chocolate, bundling up in a nice warm coat, the way the warm house feels when you've been outside a little too long, and staying home and cuddling b/c there is nothing else to do.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Ever Feel Unappreciated?

Friday, January 13, 2006

Could You Sit On This?

Thursday, January 12, 2006

And They Say Blondes are Dumb!

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"

"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.

"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?"

"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want'. So I took the truck!"

"Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit you!"

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Sad News...

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at
the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important
person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man
that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most
traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put
his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Shut up. You know it's funny.

The Transformation of Star Jones


To get the full story go to http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Poor Thing :(


Cy, short for Cyclopes, a kitten born with only one eye and no nose, is shown in this photo provided by its owner in Redmond, Oregon, on Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005. The kitten, a ragdoll breed, which died after living for one day, was one of two in the litter. Its sibling was born normal and healthy. (AP Photo/Traci Allen)

Monday, January 09, 2006

Men Are Like....

1.Men are like.......Laxatives.......They irritate the crap out of you.
2.Men are like........Bananas.......The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.Men are like........Weather.......Nothing can be done to change them.
4.Men are like........Blenders......You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5.Men are like.......Chocolate Bars.....Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
6.Men are like........Commercials......You can't believe a word they say.
7.Men are like........Department Stores......Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8.Men are like........Government Bonds......They take soooooooo long to mature.
9.Men are like........Mascara......They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like.......Popcorn.......They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.Men are like.......Snowstorms.....You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12.Men are like.......Lava Lamps......Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13.Men are like.......Parking Spots........All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped
.




NOTE: To my wonderful husband. This is just a joke, I Love ya!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Disappointed...

Well, I wasn't planning on writing another post tontight, but I am very upset. I have been waiting for the new episode of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy for a couple of weeks and I have been let down. Grey's Anatomy is a re-run of the first episode. What a let down. Anyway. I am going to bed now, diappointed and a little tipsy.

It's Over

Technically it is still the weekend, but Sundays always feel so final. You always start preparing for the work week ahead. Now that Adam isn't in pain anymore, I can actually relax and maybe get a little house work done. For a while there, I thought I was going to have to take him in the back yard and put him out of his misery! All I can say is that is a good thing that men can't have babies!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Thank Goodness for Tylox!

Well, I went with my husband on an emergency run to the dentist. It was dry socket. Treatable and cureable. The dentist gave him a "6-hour" novacaine shot and repacked the hole where the tooth had been. He then handed me a few of the medicine soaked wicks and showed me how to re-pack it if need be. He also gave hubbie a Rx for Tylox! He is numb and sleeping like a baby (instead of acting like one)! I'm just giving him a hard time. I know he was in pain and one person can only handle so much. Anyway, hope everyone has a fun weekend!

Happy Weekend!

I hope everyone is having a good weekend so far. Mine isn't so great. My husband had an impacted wisdom tooth removed on Wednesday and he is still in MAJOR pain. He was literally in tears yesterday and Thursday. The Vicodin and Percocets didn't even work. I guess we have come to the conclusion that he has "dry socket". Of course, today is Saturday and the dentist is closed until Monday. Does anyone know of any way to relieve the pain until the dentist can re-pack it? The poor guy is driving me crazy!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Six Kinds of Sex

1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen on the table, etc.

3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Screw you!" This is also called oral sex by some.

5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is if you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

6. There is also Social Security Sex...that's when you get some once a month but it's not enough to live on....

Monday, January 02, 2006

The South

THE SOUTH
The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, The South has family reunions.
The North has double last names, The South has double first names.
The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, The South has crawfish.

FOR NORTHERNERS COMING SOUTH
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Back to Work Tomorrow!

I always get a little depressed on the last day of a long weekend. I'm just now starting to feel relaxed and content. I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's celebration (that goes for all of you on the West Coast who cheated and watched the ball drop 3 hours early!) hee hee. I hope 2006 brings all of you the happiness I'm sure you deserve! I can't wait to see how this year unfolds!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2006!

How did you ring in the New Year?