Everything Goes With Pink

Pink is not a color, it is a way of life.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

2006 DARWIN AWARDS

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....


And now, the honourable mentions:



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a spa ce for his, car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered
the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana di ner, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash coins from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer was ...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a concrete block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it
over his head at the window. The concrete block bounced back and
hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. T he clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to "stand there for a positive ID". To which he
replied, "Yes officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5am, flashed a gun, and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the
cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

***** OUR 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER *****


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press
charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

5 Comments:

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Gone Home said...

Hahaha these are hilarious! gotta love the human race :)

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger Tara said...

SMART aren't we?!

 
At 6:28 PM, Anonymous hillary said...

And all of these people come to us for insurance!

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Tara said...

Hillary, I thought something sounded familiar about them!

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger mini driver wannabe said...

I would have shot her too. (snow parking)
These are so stupid they have to be true
very very funny

 

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